How to Deal With Fear: Why it Comes Up & 6 Tips to Overcome It
INSIDE: If you want to know how to deal with fear, you must first understand where the fear is stemming from. And it’s probably not what you think! Read on to learn where our fears really come from and how to overcome them.
Many of us, during these unsettling times, have had to deal with some type of uncertainty, which then produces a kind of fear or anxiety.
Fear arises when a person is either threatened with some harm, whether real or imagined, to their physical, emotional or psychologic well-being.
Most certainly, there are real things that trigger fear in most of us, although we can learn to become afraid of almost anything.
Children are not exempt from this. In fact, they can simply watch adults and become fearful or have their own founded fears and anxieties.
What We Truly Fear
It is said that we actually fear discovering who we are more than who we think we are (or more than our parents, teachers, or society think we are).
We fear that we actually possess the talents and gifts that the small voice inside of us professes to have, that we actually have amazing capabilities, perseverance, and the guts to reach our goals and dreams.
We fear this because, if it’s TRUE, then we are not who we think we are or what we know. And that means we must recalibrate our knowing.
Why We Have a Fear of Who We Really Are
Before we can understand how to deal with fear, we must first understand why it’s happening.
There lives within all of us a great saboteur, waiting at any given moment to derail us from our sense of “knowing” and undermine our dreams.
These self-sabotaging interruptions of the mind threaten our urges and creative processes, hence, sending us off into the “safety zone” instead of pursuing our dreams and desires.
What happens when you burn your hand taking something from the oven?
You probably become acutely aware of the danger and avoid it. Since the idea of giving up using the oven isn’t realistic, you instead put on an oven mitt and become more careful and aware every time you use the oven.
In the same fashion, you can build your “toolbox” in order to better equip and navigate life.
How to Deal With Fear
Here are some simple tips as “food for thought” for how to deal with fear the next time it grabs ahold of you...
Practice Curiosity & Change Your Perspective
Curiosity is something that we all have from a young age. Since going beyond your comfort zone involves a fear of the unknown, curiosity helps us to focus in a different direction and keeps us going despite fear.
As a holistic practitioner, when I’m faced with a difficult decision in helping a client, often times I begin to look at the problem from another perspective as I know the current one isn’t working for me.
Curiosity helps motivate us to be open to viewing ourselves and the world from multiple perspectives. So instead of immediately thinking, “I can’t do that” or “I’m not capable of that,” you can become curious and find the qualities and/or characteristics that will make it happen.
Look Into Yourself
Resistance is something scholars have pondered for centuries. The deep desire to become and achieve causes fears and dependence on things, on people, and on ideas.
Being dependent can be a crutch as we rely on our old habits of resistance to keep us from reaching our true potential. Fears immobilize our intentions and cause procrastination.
Think about this concept the next time you put off doing something. Take a few minutes to examine what exactly is happening --- I’ll bet fear is behind it.
Our fears immobilize our intentions and cause us to procrastinate.
But, here’s the good news…
Fear can effectively be decreased through self-knowledge, self-reflection, and self-realization. If we understand how our minds work, we are better prepared to recognize fear and stop it from stopping us.
Want it Bad Enough
To know how to deal with fear, remind yourself why you want something so deeply and be aware that within you, you hold a thought that if you don’t get it, life will never be the same again.
Exploring what motivates your desire for something and doing whatever you can to reinvigorate your passion for a goal is a great way to protect yourself from thoughts of fear and failure.
In other words, keep your focus on what you want and not on the fear of not getting or achieving it.
As you can only think one thought at a time, even though we think many thoughts in a day, your mind will only focus on the idea of having what you want.
Focus on your desires – put your energy into this instead of negative thinking. Remember, “Don’t believe everything you think!”
Use the Power of Visualization
The power of visualization is undisputed and undeniable. There are many successful and world-class athletes that capitalize on the idea that what you think, you become.
It’s been written and talked about by many, and it’s a truth. How we feel and think about ourselves, creates our reality.
To know how to deal with fear, don’t focus on what you’re afraid you might be, as there is always an alternate perspective of yourself that you may not be in touch with at the moment, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist.
It is known that there are two polarities in life. You just need to experience the other side. Find it and make it your mantra.
Be Grateful for Your Failures & Mistakes
There is learning in every aspect of life. It’s a matter of how you desire to look at it – either you got it or you will learn for the next time.
As we have all come to understand from a very young age, when you fall down, there’s only up.
I remember, at the age of nine months, my daughter began to walk. She was so tiny that as her mother, all I wanted to do was to protect her from getting hurt. What I realized early on was that she would teach herself that she could walk by falling down. Each step brought her closer to becoming able.
I often think of this simple time in motherhood when jumping life’s hurdles. We all have to fall before we can walk. Don’t think of it as a weakness or failure, but a chance to get up, learn, and do it again!
Be Brave
What’s most important to know is this: You probably won’t be able to completely make fear go away, but you can choose (optimal word) what you do with it.
We’re not born with courage. We must achieve courage through desire and being relentless --- don’t give up --- keep trying.
In this way, you can teach yourself that you can do it. Maybe not on the first try, but eventually you will be better than the first time you tried.
Don’t try to tell yourself that you’re not afraid. That doesn’t work. Instead, accept that you are afraid, but begin to work at being relentlessly brave.
Turn around and face what you’re afraid of. It builds your character and inspires you to move forward and achieve.
Final Thoughts
Remember, we all have fears, there’s no one that is exempt! Having tools to help you know how to deal with fear can help you face your challenges to navigate life and move forward.
I’ll leave you with these great words from Mary Ann Evans who’s better known as George Eliot
“Watch your thoughts, they become your words. Watch your words, they become your actions. Watch your actions, they become your habits. Watch your habits, they become your character. Watch your character, it becomes your destiny.”
